A very strange Love Story

“When you see love, you know at that very moment that this is it. At least this is what people have been telling me since I was a child. But it took almost a decade for me to understand that she is the one” Kaif said while putting tea pot on the table and responding to some of his students during evening tea session.

“Tell us more Kaif sir. You are an inspiration to us about your views on Kashmir politics but knowing you at personal level is like something very special to us,” Salma said Dr. Kaif Asar is a Politics Professor in Kamran Pvt College, Srinagar. His views about Kashmir being part of India and logic behind it have always attracted students in his collage and beyond making his fan following quite remarkable. All his colleagues were very jealous of him but he enjoy his respect among his students.

“There is nothing special about my personal life. But you know, everyone has a special place for ourself and our experiences and so does I. Let me tell you one small incident that made me change my way of perceiving love-

It was 10th December, I remember the date exactly because I was returning after attending one of the lectures from JNU, Delhi. It was the evening time, probably around 4PM. Our bus got stuck in the midst of the highway, just before Jammu border because of some road accident. We, I mean me and two of my friends were waiting in the bus when I saw a face, I still couldn’t forget. It was a women running towards the crowd, she was in red saari and was crying out loudly. We stepped out of the bus and as​ked around as to what happened. We came to know that a car returning from marriage had met an accident and all the people inside, which included bride and groom had died at the spot. The women we saw was the mother of the bride. I penetrated the crowd to have a peek.

I saw blood everywhere on the road and a hand lying at one side, but without the rest of the body. The sight was very painful but my attention was grabbed by the same women who we saw running towards the crowd. She was sitting there with one female hand in her hands. It was probably her daughter's, the bride, as indicated by the mehndi (a customary hand decoration). Her eyes were moist but her expression were different from what we saw moments ago. She was not able to understand the reason behind what just happened to her. Her daughter just got married and was about to enter her new life with a whole lot of love and expectations. But just like that, she died. Everything got over without any indication. This was unacceptable to her, would be to anyone in her position. I still couldn’t forget her emotions, it was like a volcano which was about to explode but couldn’t decide weather to cry out loud or keep quite.

It was one of the most strange feelings I had in my life. We (me and my friends) cancelled our program to return back and instead decided to help her with whatever minimum we could do. After police survey and case registration, we arranged for a truck to take away whatever of her’s was left. We came to know that she was all alone. Her husband passed away when she was 35, he was in Indian military services and died during 1971 war. She took ​ her only child as her life and did whatever she could to educate her, saved money for her and get her married in a respectable manner. But in the end there she was, with pieces of her life thrown away at the back of the truck.

We didn’t know what to say to console her but still I felt like an obligation to do something.

I decided to talk to her, I sat near her. She didn’t bothered to look up, she was more than busy in seeking justifications.

“Aunty,” I said calmly to get her attention

No response

“It is life,” I said picking every word very carefully.

She glanced at me with thousand questions in her eyes and when I looked at them I got terrified. Her eyes were telling me the story of her life, her efforts, her sacrifices, her love, care, all of it, all of that is gone just like that. Why?

For a moment I cursed myself for even trying to talk but then somehow I managed and decided not to back off

“Aunty,” I spoke gently

Tears rolled down her eyes, but emotions were more than what she could hold back

I kept my hand on hers.

After some time, she looked at me again and smiled. I could feel that her eyes have aged so much in the past couple of hours. But her lips were sealed, as if they were holding back a tsunami.

“Let it go aunty. Let it go,” I said

She said nothing, just closed her eyes and turned her head down

Few minutes passed in silence.

I was waiting for her to speak this time.

Finally she broke silence

“Khushnuma…her name is…w…was” she started but paused in the middle.

Tears completed her words.

“I was 25 years old when she was born. It was after so many prayers and wait that we were blessed with her. She was a light in our life, specially when my husband passed away. He was very fond of Khushnuma. He use to take her to military parties and use to tell everyone that she would join army one day. After he passed away I decided to make his dream come true and did everything I could. She was a very nice and understanding child, never demanded anything from me, she knew that Ammi (mother) wouldn’t be able to afford too many toys in her childhood and jewellery in adulthood so she kept her dreams to herself,” she said and while talking, tears found their ways through her eyes. She was talking normally with tears flowing continuously.

I kept quite and listened

“Then one day she came to me and mentioned about Ajit. He was her batch mate and they were seeing each other for quite some time. She told me that she have feelings for him and same did he. He was from a respectable family and she wanted me to meet his parents. Initially I hesitated but then when I saw her eyes, I saw a trust for Ajit. I couldn’t refuse finally they got married…today…and…,”she said with trembling voice

I held her hands and tried to calm her. But how could I have? Her pain was much more than I could ever imagine. She has lost her only child, her life…it was not easy.

I decided to do something, at least something…she deserved that much support in her weakest moment. And she had no one with her to share her pain. At least we could do that much.

It took us 10 hours to arrange for proper cerimony

She was much calmer by then

Her house was near one of the big Hindu temples in that area and it was morning by now so we could hear sound of prayers from the temple. The weather was fine, sun was coming up, and people were already out of their houses for their morning jog.

Air found its way through my hairs and it felt good. The night was heavy but still I was in peace, I was helping someone getting through one of the toughest times.

She went inside the kitchen leaving behind me and my friends.

Her house was small, probably less than 500sqft, but she maintained it well by putting paintings and pictures all over the wall. Some of them were pictures of his husband’s army days. One of them was of his daughter, in her army dress. I could sense the proud in her eyes, proud of making the dream of her mother come true. It would have been a great day for her and her mother, I thought.

The women entered with a tray of tea in her hands and put it in the middle of the centre table for us.

She told us that she wants to sleep as she was feeling very tired. But I noticed a calmness on her face which stuck me hard, very hard.

Kaif said and paused

Few minutes passed

“What happened then Dr Kaif,” Salma asked seeing that Kaif was lost in something

“Nothing. She never woke up.” Kaid said taking a deep breath

“B…but you said she was alright?”

“She was calm indeed, but there was nothing left for her. She had done her role in life, she was at peace. She knew that it was time,”

No one spoke for another few minutes. There were many teary eyes in the room

“Life is so unfair” one of the students said

“So what was in this incident that changed your perspective about love?” Salma asked

Kaif smiled

“It taught me that there is no reason to live without love. It doesn’t matter to whom you love, your girl-friend, boyfriend, wife, son, daughter, collegue anyone. Love is required and should be respected. Love gives energy which helps us to live. Sometimes it takes a lifetime for us to realize this small thing.

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